I can imagine for any parent when your child goes into some one else’s care -whether it be with- a family member at home, day mother or school it is a big transition not only for you but also for your child.
In 2015 a few months after my daughter was born, I decided the best thing for her would be to have me home looking after her. So I resigned after only a month and a half back at work ( after 4 months of maternity leave). If you had asked me before I would’ve said HELL NO, I love working and being independent but after my daughter was born EVERYTHING changed.
Luckily I have always had a very supportive partner, yes it would be very different only having one income and now 3 people in our household with all the extra costs but we were going to make it work.
Now 2 and a half years later it feels like all I ever was —is a stay at home mom , like those early morning shifts and waking up at 2:30am to go do a morning shift at the airport ,or living in a foreign country for a few years just never happened.
I cannot believe that my daughter is turning 3 this year and we decided because we don’t have a large family here she needs more interaction with other kids and I am not a trained teacher so she could benefit from it.
So after lots of running around, viewings and asking opinions we finally found a school. Mikayla started early January with a soft holiday programme before the structured classes started –which I thought was great–ease into the transition.
As expected the first day was hard , she was excited for something new but when she realized we would be leaving her there alone the heart breaking sobbing and tears started, few days passed it seemed to be getting easier with every now and then a tear but overall it went well . Our mistake was not setting a set routine from the beginning – daddy was still on holiday and we would go in with her just before 8am . Where as in real life working reality now : mommy can’t go with on the drop off , need to be up really early to avoid being stuck in traffic for 2hours and not getting to work late .
NOW we are in month 3: we are going into the 4th week of her still being sick -from ear infection, cold, wet cough and runny nose it has been HECTIC not to mention the wonderful full on morning tantrums not to get dressed or get in the car. Most mornings it is a complete break down and either my husband or myself gives in and lets her stay at home (yes I know you don’t have to say it –not good). Which has you questioning –is she ready, am I doing the right thing, am I being selfish for thinking about going back to work????Am I being a bad parent???Is everything OK at school? (Terrible to think but let’s be honest these things happen) And no I am not implying that the school is dodgy if it was she would be removed immediately.
After many nights of discussion and close observation of Mikayla we have decided to keep her in school .You wondering why if there are so many question marks.
Well– once she is in the car and driving she stops crying
*she has started talking where as in January she couldn’t make sentences,
* sings randomly,
*shows more affection (more hugs, kisses and I love you)
* Actually eats other food besides -noodles now
*social skills have improved
*they embrace her love for art at school and it shows
*gets excited when I ask her about her day
*almost completely potty trained
So the good really out ways the bad which is the tantrums but people tell me I have been lucky to only be experiencing the terrible twos now. So I will pray once she gets into a routine it will HOPEFULLY get easier to understand that mommy can’t go with and school will be seen as fun .
If you are struggling or feeling guilty about your decision to put your child in care –you are already a good parent for caring. So try not to be too hard on yourself.
What also put me at ease is having an open relationship with the teacher and luckily the school has parent teacher meetings to inform you how your child is doing and you can ask any questions and find out what other parents concerns also are.
A Yearly planner is sent out as well as a weekly plan every Friday to prepare your child for the upcoming week .
The teachers know my daughters name and us as parents (seems silly but shows they take note)
Safety wise : Not just anyone can collect her , ID’s need to be shown and a register must be filled in.
They active with the kids and it helps that they have won school of the year in the area before.
We have found that after a long day: a good meal,lots of hugs and making time to sit down or play with her for about 30min-hour before bath time really does make the world of difference.
So to sum it up : It is going to be hard , you will probably cry or feel terrible for the next 15 +- years but there will also be good days with lots of hugs , kisses and I love you’s.
Parent : also known as super hero 🙂