Is school making my child a bum?

This was honestly a conversation I had with hubby a few nights ago.You probably wondering what am I on about , how dare I ask if my child is a bum . No we don’t call her a bum (well not in front of her) and it is also because we feel calling your child a A-hole ,  irritating and a whole bunch of other words I will not mention is just a little bit too much. Lets be real there has been a second or moment in life where you kid has done or said something and you like what is happening right now why you being a …………..?

If you been following,our daughter is 2 turning 3 soon. She recently started nursery school previously before that she was at home with me. Now if you know her she has never been a very affectionate child – you need to “earn “ her love if I can put it like that. And she won’t just go to anyone and be friendly but once she opens up she is a completely different child. We always say for a 2 year old – she knows what she wants! If she decides No now or she doesn’t like you –that is it , sorry come another day and try again.

There are days on the drive home from school – she is almost angry and will deliberately ignore you. Like how dare you leave me there all day? Fold her arms and look away. Look don’t get me wrong my kid wasn’t perfect before school she was your normal toddler .

This is how a day at home with her will go:

  • Lots of laughter ,
  • hugs ,
  • kisses,
  • cuddles ,
  • play time
  • some crying but hardly any , will “phone “ her daddy talk to him and ask him jokingly to bring her dough (she loves doughnuts) .

So overall a really good day so much so that I will tell hubby mmmmm maybe we should have more kids, lol I actually mentioned this again to him last night ( YIP that good).

On days that she goes to school:

These days are hard for us because no parent wants to see there child upset.

  • She will wake up crying ( ok it is early and nobody likes to be woken up so that’s normal but not everyday today she was really cool about it)
  • The ” show down” not wanting to go into the car ( pulls at my heart strings will say no I no go mama)
  • Gets to school she is fine but still shows she is sad

—At school she participates , plays with other kids, has fun , interacts——

  • Collection from school – will be extremely excited to see you hugs kisses etc. Gets in the car a cold shoulder.
  • Get home – mood improves , happy will talk to me about her day , have supper.
  • But still moody , snaps for everything , refuses to wash or get dress, attitude is just not on
  • Refuses to listen  , whines ,doesn’t want to always eat what I make ,sleep time is just a struggle on its own.

 

So it is very clear that on the days that she goes to school she  is a lot more moodier .

As  a first time parent it is very confusing to have two strong different personalities in your child.

What I have learnt  ,being at school ALL day is hard , she is being told what to do and when to do it for most of the day . Where as at home she has the freedom to just do it whenever.This is frustrating because she cant communicate properly yet.

 

So no school isn’t making her a bum…She is just 2 and trying to figure this thing called life out which most of us haven’t at almost age 30.  So props to her because she definitely handles change lot better than most adults I know.

 

What works for us sometimes is:

Ask:

  • Do you need a hug?
  • Are you okay?
  • Did you have a good day?  Can I help you with something?
  • What would you like to do? ( we give options –play /TV time)
  • Are you hungry or want juice? ( answer is always yes to this one)
  • Tell me about your day/ Did you paint today?

Always sneak in a hug , kisses , I love you , I missed you ,you are so smart and brave , praise her when she does something good so she wants to do it again and try make her laugh. Funny faces and voices usually cheer her up or if I make like im going to tickle her or a animal that’s going to get her playfully.

I saw this poster on Facebook  explaining  why kids do things. It has been helpful to me and hope it will be for you too.  Can just scroll up and see the picture attached to the post.

Remember to always  try take a second before you react to your toddler they don’t understand why this person they love is suddenly mad .

Have a lovely day and keep up the good work parenting, it does get better.

Parent aka Super hero 🙂