The Truth About Not Having Your Family Around

Yo know how they say :

” You will always need your mother” 

“You will see one day when you have your own kids” 

” It takes a village” WELL they all TRUE!  Or at least in my case.

When you young and in your teens all you want is freedom to be away from “family”  and do your own thing- find your own way. Be a butterfly spread your wings and all that jazz. That was me, I grew up in a huge ,loud , out spoken and social family ,in the friendly little  city Port Elizabeth. It wasn’t that tiny just felt that way. My dream was always to move away- more so to Cape Town.I remember telling one of my older brothers in the kitchen  of our childhood home – He responded by laughing and saying you think it’s easy to just leave, you will see.

Well jokes on you buddy 🙂 I now live in Cape Town permanently. Not before I moved to Dubai- funny story . I went to support my then boyfriend at a “meet & greet information job application”. I had no intention of applying when the owner of the company said “why don’t you just apply you never know”. As a joke I said OK I will.  Well long story short -I got the job , he didn’t . Awkward- right? Anyway so I left for 2 years , came back but not to PE  ( broke my moms heart)  and started my new life in Cape Town (which was always my dream).

Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love being in new places and travelling and if a great opportunity came- I would move my little family in a heartbeat.

Cape Town has been good to me- I met my wonderful husband , made some amazing friends and got a whole new family.

So in a world where your family , more specifically your mom is in the same city as you. Can call her -no hesitation , rock up for a cup of coffee, ask her to look after the kids last minute and no worries about are they safe or the double guilt you feel for leaving them and just expecting it to be okay.If you have to work but the kiddo is sick can ask her to help out. Or evens just have a girl’s day. When something is broken or needs repairing now we must call a professional where as if we were at “home” I would just call my dad up . My parents are extremely hands on grandparents and I cant help but feel like my kiddo is missing out on that relationship with them. I was really close to my grandmother growing up- she was my person and I want that for my kid.

I never knew how much I would miss or need my family they always seemed over bearing -too much and honestly sometimes a little crazy. I had grandparents , aunts,uncles, cousins and family friends around me all the time -pretty sure every weekend. We were ALWAYS together-to the point where I wondered -when will I ever be alone?

Sadly now besides my husband and daughter – I feel alone at times. Longing for my kiddo to be overwhelmed by family dinners, sleep overs , endless laughter,playing with cousins and making up fun little dances.

I speak to my mom daily now  that I am a mom .Isn’t that funny? Before having a kid, I told my mom if she hasn’t heard from me in a month then only should  she worry. I cant imagine Kayla saying that.

I often think of moving back ” home” but I know moving just  to be close to my family isn’t enough. Besides me getting emotional once in a blue moon on a day like today especially because it feels like  people let you down when you need them .  I love living here ,it is our home and in a few days my parents , little sister and niece will be visiting and I cant wait!

So if you have friends and family in your life who go the extra mile,help you out or just keep you sane. Be grateful and say Thank you- they will appreciate it.

It is my choice but some days are just hard.

 

Parent aka Super hero